18 06 2009

Another terrific insight from that fascinating discussion of Asian-Caucasian dating:

“People in America, and women in particular, are socialized to feel an intense lack of self-regard and self-respect (you’ll often see the term “self-esteem” as well, but that one has become loaded). This takes the joy out of nearly every aspect of life. It also tends to make people angry, and blind to why they are so angry. When angry, they lash out, usually against whomever happens to be handy. When they lash out from a deep inner sense of inferiority, it is almost impossible to have warm, trusting, and intensely intimate relationships with them. Everyone ends up frustrated.

Why are they socialized this way? You can consult Karl Marx, you can consult David Riesman. This makes people SPEND MONEY. Of course, spending money and more money, and still not getting what you need, introduces yet more tension and dissatisfaction into an already volatile relationship. This also makes people easy to manipulate in certain other predictable ways that are very important to the socio-economic and political elites — particularly at work and in the voting booth.

This is hard to solve, because it’s unrecognized by those who suffer from it the most, and they will deny it’s true. Usually those will be angry denials. (The real tipoff comes when a women who has been trained to hate herself meets up with a woman who is self-possessed and openly displays it. Watch the sparks fly.)

Anyone who has lived for any substantial length of time outside of the English-speaking world knows exactly what I’m talking about. The systematic undermining of women’s sense of self hasn’t made the same strides elsewhere.”




2 responses

19 06 2009

We are influenced by the things that we give attention to. With the internet, we now have seemingly infinite opportunities to explore – like this blog, for instance. We can take charge and throw off negative influences – if we choose to.

I think we are all adventurers/pioneers, at heart and although positive progress never happens quickly enough, it is happening.

With the election in Iran, for instance, it is clear that the younger generation there is beginning to move in a different and hopefully better direction.

Reasonable people want a fair shake for all people – no matter their sex, orientation, nationality, etc

20 06 2009

You are very sensible.

But as I left work today (the last to leave, by chance), on my way to the door I passed through the gray and disorderly space left behind by people who do boring things for most of the hours of all but two of every day of their lives. I felt great pity for us all. Cubicle dwellers are the modern equivalent of the millworkers who sweated their lives away for peanuts a hundred years ago.

I’ll never understand how they stand it. I’ll never understand why they don’t rebel, like the more educated portion of the people of Iran are doing now. Working Americans live in “the richest country on earth” (as our media propagandizers never tire of telling us), and these same workers watch on their TVs every night those not incarcerated like them fling money around like water for fun and destroy peoples’ lives in the process. They accept it all.

I guess the poor always have done this. My fellow poor — the modern American variety — are kind and friendly to each other as they serve out their life sentences in their little gray cubicles. Maybe they make a statement of a kind by doing that.

But I think it’s more likely that “the most social animals on earth” (as I have heard humans called), simply accept whatever pecking order they live in as natural, without ever thinking about it. They only rebel when society become so oppressive that they can’t kid themselves any more that its structure is fair.

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