PLAIGERISM IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY 2

1 02 2009

The unlamented, recently-departed hypermasculine cryptofascist tools of the ruling class who have just abandoned their cuckoo occupation of the White House deserve a good deal of reviling, since they will never be punished for their crimes.

And I should do my part, as a card-carrying socialist sympathizer. But I can’t. They sapped my spirit by making too painfully manifest something I had always half-known about the USA but had preferred not to see—to wit, its sheer meanness.

Half the place finds Darwinism abhorrent as a natural history paradigm, but routinely trumpets Social Darwinism (You might want to look up Herbert Spencer here. It will be enlightening.), while yet incongruously holding aloft their Bibles, in which the Good parts explicitly direct us to practice the opposite of Herbert Spencer’s world view.

Would Jesus really have enjoyed hearing his Folk chant ,”You’re On Your Own” at John McCain rallies?

Oh well, Jaberwocky anyone?

UBERGEEKY

‘Twas Bush league, and the slimy toads

Did lie and gamble with our fate;

All flimsy were the moral codes

That should have kept them straight.

“Beware the Ubergeek, you con,

The tongue that speaks, the mind that thinks;

Avoid the democrats, and shun

Decent people as dinks.”

But look: A supple mind commands

The field, and bullies must obey:

They robbed us blind, but now their kind

Has had its brightest day.

Like crawfish in the bottom mud,

They stirred up clouds of murk and muck;

They hadn’t tortured, pillaged. They were Good.

And what kind of a name is Barack?

They never thought the time would come

When brains and courage beat their butts,

When honesty thrashed villainy

And said, Now who’s the klutz?

“And hast thou lost to ubergeeks?

Go to your cells, you thieves and crooks!

O blessed day, let habeus stay!

A Potus who reads books!”

‘Twas Bush league, and the slimy toads

Did lie and gamble with our fate;

All flimsy were the moral codes

That should have kept them straight.

This pastiche originally appeared in a comment someone made to a Salon column of Garrison Keillor, here

http://letters.salon.com/opinion/keillor/2009/01/28/tranquility/view/?show=all

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